Over the past few days I have done a lot of soul searching and spent a lot of time alone doing some thinking. My trip last week to Atlanta gave me a few days away from the normal routine and gave me a bit of luxury.

I had a chance to see friends and family and share some time with people who are genuinely interested in me living the best life possible.

Yes, I worked hard last week. Yes, I was stressed at times. But it was a good stress and good work and at the end of the day I went back to my luxury retreat. My king sized bedroom on the 26th floor. With all its sparkly lights and the endless sky outside the big window.

Those few days away made me realize how important some things are to me. I learned more of what is important to me and what I place value on. Those things are things that will need to be incorporated into my new vision for my life.

Something I am working on and trying to create is my vision statement. I am finding out things about myself and the pieces of the puzzle that make up me.

Over dinner at No Mas Cantina the other night, Jeff said something that has stuck with me. He said:” it is better to be single than to wish you were.” This ties nicely into my long held belief of “I’d rather be alone than in something bad”.

I can do alone. I have almost always been alone. I am finally starting to realize and accept that it will be OK if I always am.

I am the only member (of my generation and above) of my family that is not married. I am the only one without kids. The next generation that follows behind me – well he’s 28 I think and just called off his scheduled wedding.

Pretty soon all of my contemporaries – both in my family and out- will be celebrating their children’s engagements, weddings and grandchildren.

And I will help them celebrate these wonderful events. I will erase the sadness that stems from the fact that these are milestones that are denied to me.

There must be a reason and while it is not my place to question God’s will- I do hope that one day HE gives the reasons why. Until then, I will celebrate the love of my friends and my family and accept that there are things I cannot change.